


Empirically Vampirical

by lady_needless_litany



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Russian Skate Family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 21:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_needless_litany/pseuds/lady_needless_litany
Summary: The skaters jokingly debate over whether Lilia is or is not human. Russian Skate Family cuteness.





	Empirically Vampirical

**Author's Note:**

> Written for YOI Spooky Week 2018. Day One: Vampires.

“No,” Lilia said, voice soft but carrying to the rink’s centre. “It’s too aggressive.”

It was unusual – practically unheard of – for Lilia to be rinkside during training. She accompanied the team to almost every competition, but usually if she wanted something from one of them, she communicated via Yakov.

That day, however, she’d turned up halfway through their practice and ordered them all off the ice. All apart from Yuri, whose short programme she was now inspecting. Yuri and Yakov had been arguing over its tone and performance for weeks, and now it seemed that Yakov had called in the cavalry.

Yuuri, Victor, Georgi, and Mila – all of whom had been happily working on various components – had been relegated to the benches alongside the rink. They were none too pleased with the situation, grumbling and scowling pointedly.

“Again,” Lilia commanded.

They could see Yuri grit his teeth, but he complied nonetheless. As the music restarted, Victor noticed that Lilia’s nails were a dark crimson, contrasting with the pale arms that they rested on.

"Sometimes, I think that Lilia is a vampire," Victor whispered to Yuuri.

"Maybe Yurio is, too," Yuuri murmured back. "He's so pale."

Mila overheard them. “If anything, Yuri’s probably possessed by a caffeine demon. He drinks way too much coffee and energy drinks to be normal. He’s practically radioactive.”

“He has such a youthful energy,” Georgi remarked wistfully. “We were all like that once.”

The other three ignored him, as they generally did when he started on the melodrama.

“Maybe… a werecat,” Victor theorised. “Y’know, like a werewolf. But a cat.”

Mila had never looked more unimpressed. “I never would have guessed.”

Quietly, they observed Yuri execute a textbook sit spin. “His hair makes him look like a mermaid,” Yuuri contributed. “Or a fairy. Isn’t that what his fans call him?”

“What, you mean Yuri’s Angels? Yeah, but they also think he’s a cherub, so…” Mila left the sentence hanging. It wasn’t difficult to imagine how explosive Yuri’s reaction would be if someone called him a cherub to his face.

Georgi chipped in. “I see it. The hair, the cheeks… it kind of works.”

Mila snorted. “Only if you haven’t met him.”

“He’s not that bad,” Yuuri countered. “He’s just a bit intense at times.”

Remembering his own training at Lilia’s hands, Victor looked genuinely sympathetic. “Who can blame him? Lilia’s a case study of intense.”

They were distracted by the music’s crescendo, which was quickly followed by silence. Yuri held his final position for a few seconds, then unfolded himself and turned to Lilia. This time, she seemed placated. At her nod of permission, he made a beeline for the edge of the rink, towards the rest of them. When he reached them, Yuuri offered him his water bottle, which was gratefully accepted and drained.

He was breathing hard and his hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat, but Yuri couldn’t help being nosy anyway. “What have you lumps been talking about?”

“We were just talking about you and Lilia,” Mila informed him with a grin. “Because you’ve managed to bewitch several thousand people into thinking you’re an angel and Lilia hasn’t aged since Victor was a foetus.”

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, hag,” Yuri said, though the nickname had long since lost its venom. All the same, Mila punched him in the arm. It didn’t do to let metaphorical younger siblings overstep, after all.

“Seriously, though,” Victor said. “She looks exactly the same as when I was living with her and Yakov. She can’t be human.”

Mila rolled her eyes. “Alternatively, she’s always been a grumpy grandma-slash-tyrant of indeterminate age.”

“Or she just has a great skincare routine,” Yuuri supplied.

Victor remained unconvinced. “I’m going vampire.”

“She does seem like the kind of person that would drink the blood of her enemies,” Georgi agreed. “She’s terrifying.”

“You’re all wimps,” Yuri scoffed.

“You won’t be saying that when we discover that she sleeps in a coffin and can’t eat garlic,” Victor said, eyes stretched wide. “Or-”

“Time’s up!” Yakov yelled from where he was standing besides Lilia. “Break’s over!”

“Look,” Victor said as they hauled themselves to their feet. “That woman is a vampire and I won’t be convinced otherwise.”

Mila sighed. “You know what? Sure. She’s basically Russian Dracula. Happy?”

“Happy,” Victor affirmed. “And I’m putting this on Snapchat, so if I go missing tonight, you know why.”


End file.
